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Sunday, December 6, 2009

fake people and socially uncomfortable situations

Winters Breath - original by rachael inch

Often we find ourselves in positions that are socially uncomfortable, where we feel that we are out of place, uneasy or a little shaken.

It is so important to be bigger than the circumstances and in situations like those to rise above the negativity and spite.

I will give an example of something that happened to me, a situation with someone who used to be my friend, This person went through a lot of personal turmoil, and then, for whatever reason felt animosity towards the world. Out of her anger and greif came behaviours that was unacceptable towards others, especially me. The situation worsened as her unhappiness grew and she chose to take her mood out on all those around her. Spreading malicious rumours and speaking ill if others. Causing disharmony for many, including me.

Of course human nature is to be pulled into the gossip and many turned for no reason. I just kept strong and kept being me, I held my head up high and I walked with grace. I held my composure and just walked on back to that space and kept that genuine smile and love coming from me, the same person I have always been, and eventually, that person faded into the darkness of her own circumstance.

I realised that indeed nobody can take your energy or make you feel inferior without your permission. And in that I gained strength. Life is not easy... Especially if you are a positve outgoing person of love... But you have to keep moving through and keep honest in the hope that there is someone who will see the real you:)

I am so greatful for my gift of unconditional love. I can still see the good in people that cant see the good in themselves.

Remember there will always be fake people, and those ones are truelly sad inside.. they havent quite got it yet, havent figured it all out... That the true esence to loving life is to just be yourself:)

Here are some practical tips on ...

How to deal with Fakeness and Fake people.

Step 1
Start saying "no." Fake people will lose their use for you if you stop paying their bills, watching their kids for free and running them around town.
Step 2
Tell the truth. Fake people hate honesty. It's the lies that keep them feeling good about themselves and their lives. So share your true feelings about their actions and watch how they fade away. (this is something I certainly have learned alot from!)
Step 3
Avoid the drama. Fake people enjoy others who get sucked into their drama. Cut conversations short that deal with your fake friend's usual complaints. You know. The ones they never plan to do anything about.
Step 4
Focus your energies on your real friends. Fake people will hang around as long as you let them. So, don't. Cut back on their time and spend it with your real friends.
Step 5
Build up your confidence.Fake people have a hard time attaching themselves to people who have good self-esteem. Why? Because people who feel good about themselves won't put up with them.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

How To deal with People Who Bring You Down

IT IS THE MOST natural thing in the world to dislike the people in your life who bring you down. We tend to feel angry and frustrated with them. But keep in mind that they aren't born that way. Children aren't usually born with genes that make them frustrate and anger other people — it is a learned trait. And it's usually learned because it happened to them.

It happens like this: Let's say I'm in a position of authority — a parent, for instance — and I bring you down. I make you feel sad or angry or sorry for yourself or whatever.

Since I'm the one who's winning all the time, you'll start to think that the only way you can win is to be able to bring people down. In circumstances like this, you would quickly learn that to be a winner you need to bring people down.
"If we could read the secret history of our enemies," wrote William Wadsworth Longfellow, "we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."

That's one form. The other form of people who bring you down are those people who are not deliberately trying to bring you down, but who bring you down because a) you love them, and b) they are miserable.

Dealing with someone you love who acts against his own interests can bring you down. There may be psychological causes for this, or even brain damage that causes the person to act in a self-defeating way, but it can drive you crazy trying to save him from himself.

Either way, people who bring you down are not happy people. When you understand this, you will have some compassion for them. When someone feels good and likes what's happening in her life, she's not likely to bring other people down (except maybe by accident once in a great while). When you feel good about yourself, you don't belittle others. It is people who have trouble and misery, people who don't feel good who bring others down.

If someone feels bad about themselves, they can notice something bad about you and point it out, and they feel more equal to you, which brings them up a little. Or they are simply down or out of control and it brings you down because you love them.
It's important to be cautious in dealing with these people, but I also want you to have a degree of compassion for them. I could probably take anyone and if I put him down long enough and hard enough, he would probably eventually start doing it himself.
At the same time, be cautious of these people. What they're doing when they bring you down is very dangerous to you. It's not lightweight.

There are lots of different kinds of people who bring you down. On one extreme is the very gruff person with an obvious chip on her shoulder, and when she comes in the room, she makes no bones about the fact that she is going to put you down or invalidate your ideas. You have no doubt who those people are.

On the other extreme, you have people who are very polite and gracious. And yet, after talking with them, somehow you're aware of your faults and shortcomings, your limitations, the misery or danger of everything, etc. These people may compliment you and smile and do all the other stuff you associate with a friend, and yet somehow you feel bad after being with him or her.

Once upon a time there was a very powerful man. He was a really nice guy to a lot of people. He was a dutiful son to a very doting mother. He loved children and dogs. He was a vegetarian. He didn't smoke or drink. His chauffeurs and secretaries loved him. He came to power in a country in the depths of a horrible runaway inflation and turned it around, making his country one of the strongest economic powers in the world. He had done so well, he was Time Magazine's Man of the Year in 1938. His name was Adolf Hitler.

People can be gracious, kind and thoughtful, and still bring you down. Hitler brought down millions of people and completely destroyed millions more. Someone can bring you down with a smile. It can be somewhat confusing at times to know who is bringing you down. Appearances can be deceiving. Some people, of course, you know for sure, but what about the others? You can't just say anyone who criticizes you is someone to look out for because some people can bring you down without making even the slightest criticism. Some can do it without even uttering a word!

On the other hand, people who love you and support you and make you stronger sometimes criticize you and it does you good. You might pay a racquetball coach, for example, to come onto the court and help you improve your game. What she will do is criticize you and tell you where you could be better and how you're doing things wrong. But the criticism is designed to make better at the game, not to stop you from playing. It's still a criticism; it might hurt your feelings a bit, but it makes your game better and that brings you up.

The way to tell whether a person is someone who brings you down or not is to ask yourself a question the moment you disconnect from him. The moment you hang up the phone, the moment he drives off in his car, stop and ask yourself, "What was the result of my contact with him?" Do you feel inspired and more able to go on and get what you want out of life? Or do you feel doubtful now because maybe your idea is not such a good one after all? Do you feel confused? Have you been convinced your goal will take more of an effort than it's worth? Or that your chances are very small? Do you feel in a worse mood because he talked about all the bad news in the paper or his did he talk about his own personal miseries that he somehow won't do anything to solve?

If you feel less motivated, if you feel worse about yourself, if you're more aware of your faults, then regardless of how smiley and friendly that person is, he has damaged you and brought you down.
Start being aware of how you feel after you've been in contact with people. And cut some slack because we all have bad days and we're all grumpy sometimes. Try to detect who chronically or consistently brings you down. Every time you're around that person, you come down. Is there a person in your life who brings you down almost every time you interact with him? Think about that now.

There are some common ways people use to bring you down. Knowing their methods will make it easier for you to both detect it and to cope with it. Understanding alone can sometimes ease or eliminate pain. But be aware there are thousands of ways to bring you down, so we won't spend a lot of time trying to get you to understand about different "personality types". We're not going to give labels like, "gruff," "whiner," "sad sack," etc., because the best way to deal with people who bring you down is to concentrate on the way you handle yourself, not them. That's not to say it's your fault. It is a simple matter of pragmatism. But we'll get into that a little later.

Right here we will give you some clues about how they do it, so you can recognize it when it's happening to you. One of the things they do is talk to you about negative things. They might tell you about some bad news they heard or read or saw on TV. Or they'll tell you about something bad that happened to someone else. They are likely to talk to you in a certain way about things.

Out there in the future somewhere is a goal of yours. You are always headed somewhere. That's human nature (for mentally healthy people), and I'm sure it's true of you. There's something you want, some condition you are aiming for or trying to move towards in your life. You have a goal, maybe many of them. You would like to be in better shape, you would like more money or a more secure future, you'd like to have a better relationship with your mate, or maybe there is something you'd like to create, some deed you'd like to do for no other reason than it feels right.
Regardless of what you're aiming for, the point is that we're never really satisfied with where we are (for very long at least), and we're always trying to get to someplace better, and that's a wonderful part of life.

Lucky stuff happens now and then, of course, and it can make you happy, but you can't count on it. The only happiness you can count on is the kind you create with your own effort. This kind of happiness comes from the process of progress.
We think we'll be happy when our goal is attained, but that's not so. A great example of that is Christmas. Christmas night, when it's all over, people often have a feeling of sadness. You got all those presents, but you're sad because having what you want doesn't really make you happy. Getting it is where all the fun is. And no matter how many times we hear that and agree with it, it almost always feels like we'll be happier when we arrive. But that's part of the game. Human nature.
The happiness that you can create comes from the process of progress. If I want to lose ten pounds and I get on the scale and see I've lost one pound, I'm not where I want to be, but I've made progress, and I'll feel pretty good about that. I'm moving in the direction I want to go. If need to save $3000 to achieve my goal of vacationing in Greece, and I'm saving a hundred dollars every week, I will feel good about it each week when I put that hundred bucks away. I'm making progress toward my goal.
We want to move toward our goals. People who bring you down do things that make progress more difficult or more painful. They'll remind you of the barriers in the way ("You're too young"), or they become the barrier ("I forbid you to go"). Or they'll try to hold you back or put your attention on what holds you back ("What about the children?").
Another way to slow your progress is to distract you: "You can do that later; come on, let's go to the show." Distraction is the hardest to fight. It is like enticing you with temptations that you yourself enjoy. Like the person who is trying to lose weight and her spouse cooks her favorite (fatty) meal. People who bring you down tend to minimize the importance of your goals, and keep bringing up other (more immediately fun) things to lure you away from your purpose, slowing your process of progress. You will experience a short term enjoyment and a long-term misery. You might not feel any worse immediately, but it will begin a subtle depression as your goals lose out to entertainment or socializing. This is distraction.

Another form of distraction is to occupy your mind with unpleasant thoughts — reminding you of your "obligations," or telling you things that you worry about or things that make you angry. Fuming and fretting are not good uses of your mental resources. They slow your progress and bring you down. When you are worrying or angry, your mind is not being used to further your goals. And it's bad for your health and relationships.
Someone who brings you down might also tell you you're doing too much or too little, and in this way mess with your own rhythm and pace, tripping you up. They can make you feel bad by telling you you're doing more than you ought to, or make you feel bad by telling you you're not doing enough. An insidious way of keeping you distracted is for someone you love to be sick or out of control (drinking, for example) or in some way making it necessary for you to take care of him, effectively erasing the time you would otherwise work toward your goal.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Really feel like you are living

"Country Air" By Rachael Inch copyright 2009

To follow your hearts desire , to live in the here and now... is the most fufilling way to live.

Be who you are, be nobody else but the true you and you will start feeling like you are alive.

Give often, for you will recieve tenfold, give without expectance, without attatchment and speak up.

Say everything you mean to say and nothing that you dont. Pay kindness forward and be the best your soul can be.

I promise you that your life will be more the way it should. From today I will no longer have those who drag me down in my life. I will no longer accept bad behaviour towards others, I wont accept bad bahaviour towards me.

This past weekend I spent the most amazing weekend in a magical place that seemed so surreal. I experianced geniune Love from complete strangers, geniune kindness. I experianced unconditional acceptance for who I was and there was nothing that could have knocked me.

I watched my art and my energy be accepted by hundreds of people and I was incredibly humbled by it. I am so eternally greatful to be able to experience that warmth and to finally be heard.

I have alwayd dreamed of inspoiring others, and this weekend I know I was able to be a part of that.

There is a great quote that I handed out to people, it said "Wealth is not about what we have, it is found in what we enjoy."

I believe, I am a millionare, because I enjoy watching a smile form. I enjoy making others happy I enjoy Love.

Give thanks each day for what you have, really, if you can just give thanks and mean it I promise you too will live.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

the quieter moments in Life are the most important ones.

"Solitary Moments"
Original Oil Painting by Rachael Inch
copyright 2009
Moments in Life

There are moments in life when the door of happiness closes, then another will open; but often times we look so long at the closed door, that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

Find the what makes your heart smile. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

Did you know that the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. So Live your life so that at the end of it, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Don't count the hours, minutes days or years- count the memories........... the saying goes that "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away!"

Monday, August 3, 2009

What Inspires YOU

Modest Fairy
Oil Painting By Rachael Inch

What Inspires You? There are many things in life that have inspried each of us.

Life was not meant to be lived perfectly, but to be lived to the fullest with smile. No one indvidual is perfect because we all have flaws and we all know what our faults are. Accept the smallest compliments because you will never know if it were that stranger that INSPIRED YOU to write a book or your best friends who scrapd you off the ground when you needed them the most. But most importantly, do not give up on what you are seeking; because it will come to you with patience.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

"A heart filled with anger has no room for love."

"The Rose"
Original oil by Rachael Inch
"Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself."

Its ironic really, when you have been hurt we are told to forgive to grow as people. But how do you forgive when you are hurting so badly?

A great friend once said to me that when you acknowledge that pain and say "ouch" that hurts. Acknowledge why you are hurting and then forgive because you are only hurting yourself, then you can truelly grow as a person.

The price we pay for keeping our pain and heavy negativity is too high.

Too often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, but it is really for ourselves.

Of all the things we can give other people in life, forgiveness is one of those that require the most effort.

Discouraging and spiteful words and actions from other people can only have the desired effect if you want them to. Give yourself the pleasure of a free spirit.

When we take vengeance on people whom we think have done us an injustice, we will only end up bitter and resentful.

Each day has opportunities for us to let go of or hold on to grudges. So the choice is yours at the end of the day... are you going to keep holding on to the bug thats making you sick or are you going to forgive and let go?

Monday, July 20, 2009

Inspiration means "Taking in your breath"

"Path of life"
original oil work by Rachael Inch

Inspiration lifts you up and makes you feel connected with the world around you. To achieve this you must experiance life, sounds like a cliche really but I mean it, to be inspired you have to feel.

You have to hurt, love, laugh and cry. Because it is through life's adversity that you learn the most. Being Inspirational is an incredibly humbling and exhausting gift. Often I can sit here and think why the hell is all this happening to me and play the poor me card but then I sit back and think... no what do I have to learn from this situation. That gut feeling that things are not right and that "lightbulb" that goes on when you figure out why its happening is the moment that will create the most inspiration. I then translate that into painting and hopefully inspire someone else, whether its through words or through painting, I have to get that messsage out there that you need to "Listen to your heart above all other voices."

I believe we all have a purpose, I believe in everything happening for a reason and sometimes... thats an incredibly hard pill to swallow.

Each morning when you open my eyes say to yourself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

Never ever give up being you, because u are worth it!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

First attempt at an acrylic painting

I am not an acrylic painter, but today i walked into my studio and was so annoyed with all the same painting that I decided to try a complete acrylic. I couldnt believe it... nearly finished the painting in one day! a far cry from the 5 weeks that an oil takes me!

Of course its not 100% finished but wow what a way to release some tension!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Painting with Spirit and Freedom

Painting with spirit and with freedom is the only way to paint, when you structure paintings and you plan your work to the last detail, or when you copy something from a photo to the last line it wont work.

The magic in painting comes from within, It comes from a sense of knowing that this is what you are meant to be doing. When you work with Spirit and freedom your energy flows in every sense. Sometimes that energy that you harbour inside may not be good energy, it doesnt matter, each stroke and paint drip correlates to emotions that will eventually shape themselves in to the whole painting.
Think of it as a piece of a puzzle, none of the pieces make sense until you finish the whole puzzle step back and see the picture.
That is how each of my works form, each time I pick a brush or a colour I am allowing my "gut' to guide me allowing my spirit to be free. I dont know what I am doing, I have a picture in my head, but I spend so long working with my painting that it moves with me and then I see something else in it, my new picture forms in my head and work towards that. Its not until the end that i step back and see the journey that I have taken.

People often ask me, "how long does it take to do your paintings?" I cant honestly answer that, why? because I take a never ending journey with each one. Each painting is not really finished to me, each painting is that "puzzle piece" that fits into my next painting, Painting a picture of my Journey through life.
I am incredibly blessed. It wasnt until I sat back and started to trust, to love life the way I should that I started to live life. I am forever guided the right way, and it wasnt until I started listening that I started living.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Selwyn Gallery Website now finished

The selwyn Gallery website I have designed is now up and running, no doubt I will have mistakes to fix over time but at least its up and running!

I have been slack today as its very cold, but still thinking about my next step. I sold a painting for $800 yesterday which is great! I was told I am selling myself too short but how can you sell yourself short if you think you are doing you art to inspire people. Who says the price of reward for me has to be in a dollar value? seeing people enjoy my work is the real reward... brrr its freezing I must go and finish my rose work for the Selwyn Gallery Auction:)
thanks for keeping up with me guys:P

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Nz art guild membership paying off- interest from overseas!

Well I am very chuffed at the email I recieved this morning from a man living in America wanting a large painting of a nelson coastline:) I am yet to confirm finer details!
Also Selwyn Gallery is holding an Art auction and I am lucky enough to have a piece in thre... great local exposure and My works will be in with the best of the best!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

A New Idea formed through a dream

Last night I had the most amazing dream of colour, It was a combination of a certain four colours that just looked stunning, So when I got up I knew I had to paint (at 5 am!!) I started to work immediately and the form is shaping, using the design I have used before with a different colour spin! I am so excited and cant wait to finish it!
My fingers are almost too cold to type so I must go warm them before I can tell you more keep your eyes peeled!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Painting this weekend!

I have spent some time this weekend on my painting making great progress with my works, in particular one piece. I finally spend time updating my Nz Art Guild pages and my Website is still a work in progress. I am very excited about how one painting in particular is forming So I have decided to take step by step shots for people and add it to my website(fingers crossed!) I am yet to work out why the lightbox does not work on my site ... but thats too tech for most people including me at times!
Plans for the Christchurch exhibition are shaping up very nicely and I am very excited about the participation from artists! Not, however without all the hard work! Trying to get people to exhibit with us, at times, has been a nightmare!!!!
Well enough blogging onwards to my painting for the day!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I am so busy at the moment! I am Exhibiting In the Original Art sale in Auckland, and In the Bruce mason center in Auckland at the same time fot the Annual Guild Members Exhibition. So just four short weeks to complete 6 paintings! eeekkk!!!

I just completed my wee square for the group project(similar to last years) So hopefully I will be able to get all that loaded on my website... What a nightmare my site has been!

I have nearly completed the Selwyn Gallery Website which is exciting,
Its a large website, with lots of pages but its design is targeted around the old ppl that cant use computers LOL.

I also got to redesign the whole Artweek Logo which is really cool that they loved my design. Man things are moving up I tell you! I am so incredibly blessed and greatful that I have been supported by so many people over these years.
Art is more than a passion for me now its a damned obsession!!!!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Chariy Auction Started!!!!

I just started a charity Auction to raise funds for our exhibition check it out!

Name of the NZAG annual exhibition is decided!

I have decided to call our chch exhibition "Perception" An artists view of their world.

I love it! leaves it open for everyone to create freely! and we have new people coming on board to exhibit with us which is exciting!!! Although I feel the pressure a little with the need to fund all the costs and find sponsors, otherwise the artists will bear the brunt of the costs!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

An Interesting Painting forming now...

Well things are on the way nicely, yesterday I managed to have an afternnon off work and I managed two straight hours in my studio painting! yey! I have the most amazing piece forming that has sat unfinished for some time as I knew what I wanted to achieve but wasnt sure how to achieve it!!!!

I have many ideas floating around my head that should help me finish what I need to for all the exhibitions, the problem will be time!

I was very aware last year that I was so involved in the "planning" of the Exhibition that I lost my free spirit in my paintings and tended to rush them. This year there will only be top quality works from me!

Man I love Art!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Welcome to my Blog

Well, welcome to my first blog to keep people up to date with what I am currently working on!
This year is already jam packed with Art events and activities for me, so keeping up with it all will be a challenge!

At the moment, the time is fast approaching to have my works done for the Original Art sale in Auckland and I only have 2 half done!!! eeek!

NZAG annual exhibition in July and much to prep for that as well as in September I have to organise the South Island exhibition.

The Selwyn Gallery website is nearly up and running( I have been creating this for them) and then its to work on my own website and profile books.

Sales of my book went well and I am gearing up for my next one (art related) so Watch this space!!!!